Too bad…

Dearest Marty, my one and only,

Since years I try to write some novels and due to my job, which knows no regular work hours, weekends or even holidays, I am interrupted often for weeks writing fiction. Then I have to take care of the chores around the house and my huge “backyard”, etc. and then, when I finally have a minute to read my fiction, my job comes back that requires a hell of a lot of concentration and leaves often time for just few hours sleep and nothing else. I could ditch parts of it, but the problem is: what if something happens and I need the cash? My job produces cash right away but with writing fiction, it takes so much longer. However, writing fiction is more fun and less stress than my day and night and weekend and holiday job.

Marty, I am thinking of you. How your daily life is. I still think that you are wrongfully incarcerated. I still have no shred evidence but it feels like it to me. There was also still no message/letter/subpoena/call etc. on your behalf for me as the world (anyone apparently) conspires against us. It is really stupid that they go on like this, considering that I figured anything out by myself. It wouldn’t have happened without knowing and applying original Scientology, Marty. It sharpened my senses and rehabilitated my OT abilities after psychs stole my memories. I couldn’t live as a Muggle just seeing the things right in front of me. I need my advanced abilities to figure what is withheld from me. You know that I don’t approve of Miscavige (maybe a Vistarologist but sure no Scientologist) and Miscavology, but when I hear people bashing Ron, the real founder of original SCN, or original Scientology, I am thinking what fools they are and what they are missing… The adventure of advanced human abilities. I am so glad that I became a Scientologist. The only regret that I am having is that I couldn’t hold onto you. And the forces that separated us are not Scientology but Germany and psychiatry.

How can I help you, is what I ask myself often, Marty, and the only thing I can come up with (after having knocked at all doors in the government and courts) is waiting here in the USA until this conspiracy crashes like a house of dirty cards.

I have no intentions at all to ever give up on you. You are my soulmate and my husband. We were born for each other and I don’t see why we should fulfill the dirty, perverted wishes of Nazi snakes to forget each other. Psychs think they are the greatest and they know all about the human minds. Haha! They can’t figure us out or make us do what they want. They are forgetting that we are so appalled about their low tonelevels and methods that we do anything we can to work against them and not becoming like them. When I feel that they want to drive me out of my home and back to Germany (and I get it very often), I do EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE.

They are losers, Marty, they can adapt to a situation, which they can’t handle. They are fixed on crimes and being downtone. I read an article once and a Jewish person stated that he got the feeling that Nazis just want to inflict pain and cruelties and don’t really want to win. He was right. They are THAT LOW. They have the world secretly in their slimy hands and nevertheless manage to lose over and over again. How dumb is that? Our reactions doing exactly what they don’t want us to do is known to them since decades, yet, they continue on that route of just inflicting pain and cruelties without any chance of winning. All they do is extending their eternal rap sheets and the feeling of being the scum of any  universe.  

Sometimes, I think of the beginning, Marty, how things were when we all were just thetans. What happened that they turned monsters and we don’t? I think I figured it out. They failed to truly love and were jealous instead. True love is continuing to love a person even if rejected.  A heart and a being filled with true love towards a being/beings, his or her partner and children, family, and friends, doesn’t fill the same heart and mind up with doing disgusting things to others. It doesn’t work this way. They were so stupid to forgo love for jealousy, sex, crimes, and perversions and never corrected themselves. The ultimate stupidity.

I love you, Marty, always have, since the beginning of time, you live in my heart and you are having your permanent home there. Even if you would decide for another soulmate, I would step back but  still would love you.

Yours.

Sarah/Barbara 

This is a picture of Pluto. It looks to me as if someone used a laser in space to create that heart of frozen carbon monoxide and methane, which is no thick ice as far as I learned. Well, there is a lot more to real love than just drawing a heart. Doesn’t convince me of love. Besides, those chemicals might be deadly for people without proper protection.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 2015, Marty – I postulated seeing you again… Separating us is like separating magnets that are searching each other as long as it takes to be back together – and that is why we will find each other again.

 

Dearest Marty, my remarkable and amazing soulmate,

I wish you, me, and our families to finally come together and live in peace and freedom. No human being should be so rotten to prevent this. If people don’t grant the same right to others, they don’t qualify as human beings, and the correct place for creatures like this is the zoo.

Alienation between us, which they tried to archive, is a total failure. Our love remains strong and steady. If the people who conspire against us would be capable of true love, they wouldn’t even have tried to separate us as wasted energy.  

I have to see quantum entanglement of particles personally in an environment that not even muons or neutrinos can penetrate – as I suspect sabotage to physical experiments, however, we thetans (no mass, no wavelength) are definitely entangled. We can FEEL what is happening to others, particularly to our family members and soulmates. We basically know what is going on, just as Ron discovered. Again, conspiracy is futile against those who have this kind of awareness. One huge reason for psychs to destroy original Scientology, and then alter and ridicule it. They don’t want more people like us around because that would mean that it would get harder and harder to get away with their crimes.

We have this deep love for each other that nobody can 3rd party and that is too huge and mighty to explain in words. It happened on a dimension that particularly our conspirator have no idea that it even exist. Actually, they try to corrupt what they don’t understand. But we know what it is, and it is divine. And it can’t be corrupted as it was created to overcome anything. Together, we work wonders. We are meant to be. Separating us is like separating magnets that are searching each other as long as it takes to be back together. An impostor is not the magnet. Impostors don’t work in the universe of very aware thetans. 

Everything about you is so special. I saw and felt it right away, Marty. The only thing standing between us is this German conspiracy that uses corrupt Americans and other corrupt nationals to separate us. They never had/have the slightest chance against our love. It conquers them all. If that wouldn’t be such monsters and hypocrites, I almost feel sorry for them falling in this trap. If somebody would have told one of us: “There are these two in love and we don’t want them to come together”, we would have known that this is a lost battleground to begin with, if the love is true as ours. But they have nobody to blame but themselves. We lost decades not being together. They are stealing lives. So, whatever hits them as self-pulled in penalty for their acts against us, it is deserved.

You are the love of my life, Marty. It is the greatest love there can be. I am not giving it up. It gives wings to my life despite anything they throw at us to make us break. This love will not be broken, and our conspirators finally should get a grip on reality. It is not a “problem” that will go away. Even if they would kill one or both of us, the aftermath will take them apart and reveal their identities. It is really very German not to know when a war is lost. And Americans and other nationals working secretly for them are the same fools.

True love, a true companion who loves one, who considers cheating the other one with cheating oneself, is the big award, and I pity the people who rather conspire against such people but searching and creating such a love for themselves. Our love makes gray and cold world cozy and alive. Just the thought of you lifts me up, Marty. Knowing what brings a relationship down, we also will not go this path but the path of eternal excitement seeing each other and being with each other. We simply never will touch a primitive and low level. We will never be unkind, untrue or causing each other pain. By taking the soulmate’s viewpoint and not taking him for granted, the sparkles will continue indefinite. 

I know that all timetrack long, we were there for each other and helping each other. That doesn’t just evaporate by having new bodies and identities. It makes us who we are.  

You are my treasure, Marty. I sailed around the world, searched everywhere, dug a lot of holes, and despite a lying world, I remain positive: We will see each other, and my intuition tells me that it will be the same deep feeling of love, so exciting but also so calming, that tells each one of us that WE ARE HOME.

Yours, and again yours.

Sarah/Barbara

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life without true love is nothing – and I mean it

Marty, my one and only love,

How are you?

People speak about love all the time. Most people think they know what it is. Some people think it does not exist. Some people think it is just sex. Some people wrote nice things about it. Some people think they are loved but are sold out by their partners. Some people think that only the third and fourth dynamic matters and the second one is a distraction. It is not. I am convinced that true love supports all other dynamics. People who have a soulmate and take care of him/her will archive much more than those with 

But after having met you, Marty, my understanding of love is that true love makes all worth it. True love as in: ho hardship, no money, no bribe, nobody younger and no looks of somebody else will make the true lover sell the other one out. It is a love carved in stone. It is like rock who will stand there for all eternity to come and nobody can change it.

Two people made the postulate to give their best for each other. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, that postulate sticks. Yes, this is how soulmates are being made, and our postulate is very old, we made it already countless lifetimes before. In a way it is kind of funny that p$ychs are thinking they can come in between this kind of love. How little do they know about real love. It tells me that the people who keep us apart don’t have a soulmate, otherwise, they would know that separating them does not kill their love and that they are wasting their time and all they are getting is a bad conscience and feeling lousy and depressed.   “Great deal” for them, sheesh!

Love is thicker than conspiracy. And I bet it feels a lot better too!  

I mention this before, I knew a woman who was in therapy. She had nothing ever to do with Scientology. She told me that her p$ych told her that the love that she is looking for would not exist: a partner who would love her as much a good parent would. No partner would ever love another partner as much.

How wrong he is.

Of course, we love each other very romantically, but that love to let no harm and having the best interest that good parents have for their kids or good siblings have for their siblings, is also in you and me for each other.

I also see you as my other part, not said lightly, I mean really. I see you in a way that if I would betray you, I would betray myself. And who wants to betray oneself? Exactly.

It is a shame that two who are so ideal for each other are separated by this jealous conspiracy. Instead of conspiring against us, they should find their own soulmate and commit no OW against her/him so that the love and attraction lasts and lasts and lasts.

I am so glad that you exist, Marty. Many tender and passionate kisses.

Yours forever,
like a rock

Sarah/Barbara

We are are spiritualists, we are OTs, Marty. Thanks heaven! :)

 

Dearest Marty, most Cherished Prince in the Entire Universe! 

Isn’t it wonderful that we both stayed the same personalities over the years?

I definitely got a bit wiser 🙂 but otherwise, there is NO change. I have the same strong and not of this world feelings for you and the same interests. And I know you to. I am feeling our connection all the time, Marty.

Scientology haters are saying that there are no OTs. They are so wrong. We are the living example of that they exist. We are connected on a theta level, and we are feeling our love and are not giving  up on each other, it doesn’t matter how many lies we are being told. If our ability to know against all odds hasn’t OT written all over it, then what is it? A non-OT would have fallen for the million tricks. We didn’t settle for somebody else and a lower love. Where I live, there is no shortage of single men. But they are normal men, they don’t have spiritual wings like you have them, Marty.

Just thinking of you brings back that old feeling that is so very special. It is like flying and hearing violins, piano play, and trumpets all through the universe. A lot more than just butterflies. It is an all-consuming wonderful feeling. It is the best feeling ever. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Before I saw you again in L.A., I was looking for my soul mate, and you filled that spot immediately and completely, and none else. What a high crime committed by others to rip that kind of love apart. On the other side, we both have more than most other people, they don’t even have a clue how it feels to meet one’s soul mate! It rocks one’s world. It is knowing: THAT is my other half, only him, and nobody else. 

Scientology haters are saying that the tonescale doesn’t work. Interestingly enough, the reason why I feel in love with you, Marty, is because you are so high on that scale. I found you on the top. There was nothing lowtone on you.

Just like you, I can read personalities. I noticed no shame, no hiding, no covert hostility, no dirt, no negativity, no brutality, no perversion, no cover up, no bad conscience by looking in your eyes and in your personality.  You were aware of the danger we were/are in but you didn’t wimp out but you had no fear. You were anything but boring, so alive, positive, bubbling with energy, smart, educated, exciting, and before I met you, I didn’t even know anyone who could communicate without words. What else is that but advanced human abilities? What happened is that I understood your language. I understand you.  I know how much you are worth, Marty. You are the diamond in a universe full of worthless pebbles. 

It all sums up that I would be a completely fool giving up on you, my soul mate with wings and who can move rocks by just having intention. I hope you know how remarkable you are.  I wouldn’t exchange you for the world. Marrying you (in the UK) as a teenager was the best thing that I could do, Marty. (And yes, that was you and nobody else.)  And we married because we were passionately in love as we still are.  How do I know? I can still feel your love. It is around me every day.   

Some people having problems living alone. They NEED somebody, and when they don’t get the person that they wanted, they settle for somebody else. For me, that was never an option. My self-esteem couldn’t be higher in regards of loyalty and faith. I am proud of myself for not settling for somebody who I don’t love as much as I love you. That is not a relationship I ever want to be in. And there is nobody who I ever could love more that you.  

When people are saying that Scientology is nothing worth, I pity them. I experienced first hand that it works. Like you, I am a target of intense psych-stalking, Marty, but personally, I have a lot less problems than just about anyone else I met. I have less problems than others with people, work, or family, etc. And on top of all that, I KNOW things for CERTAIN, things nobody told me, things I impossible can know, but I know them because I have OT abilities as you do. If the US government would be smart, they would not work against us, but would ask us if we would help them. You and me, we can do a lot better than the FBI, the CIA or the NSA combined. And we don’t need spy equipment. We just think about things and then we know.  

I don’t like the word “psychic” because of the “psych”, but we sure are. You understand my strong spiritual side, and I understand yours. We are paranormal, we are spiritualists, we are OTs, Marty. Yes, Scientology orgs are infiltrated and altered, but nevertheless, I don’t regret having joined it. It revitalized my OT abilities. I would not want to live a day without my OT abilities. It  would be like missing senses. I see beyond, above, underneath, and through things, and without that, I am sure that I would have been not able to figure what I figured.   

Can’t wait to see you again. 

Wishing you and your family a good Passover.    

Yours forever,

Sarah/Barbara