Blog for the original Marty

Who truly is “we” on Tony Ortega’s blog? My guess: his German-oriented secret service case officers

with 10 comments


Dearest Marty, my wonderful Prince, how are you?

Yes, I know, he says it is his style but why does Ortega call himself TRULY “we” and not “I”?  Afraid to stand on his own two feet? Does he have an imaginary friend or rather real German-oriented secret service case officers to create an anti-Scientology blog and cult? “Bunker” sure sounds very German to me.  That is where Hitler was hiding. 

Tony Ortega says that the “we” is a habit and  amuses him. Columnists do that. Well, they better watch over their shoulder as psychiatrists might declare them schizophrenic. Unless they are run by p$ychs, then psychs don’t want to see craziness.  

Tony Ortega is of course not just one person. He indicated that himself but hasn’t the guts to admit it.

And they are all fat? Why do I think that?  He wrote:  “And hey, it’s Brian Culkin! Wow, we wish we could squeeze into a suit that stylish. The yoga instructor is looking quite fit. It’s nice to finally meet him.”

TO (he is the opposite of an OT as already his initials indicate) wrote that he lives with four cats. A cat lady! If psychiatrists are granted the legal right to involuntarily commit anyone at any time in any country (which I know they want to obtain), Tony Ortega is in serious problems.  From Wikipiggy: Compulsive hoarding of cats is a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and  has long been associated with “crazy cat ladies”. By being anti-Scientology, he is pro p$ychs and might help them to one day come for him as in their eyes, he suffers under the hoarding of crazy cat ladies syndrome. 


Wonder what TO will say under oath when deposed on who “we” is.

His possible answers:

Deposing attorney: “Please answer the question, Mr. Ortega. Who is WE?”

TO: “We is I and my many cats. I take them with me to court and into the bar where I order booze, and neither I nor the cats look good in Culkin’s suit. Really not. We tried hard, altogether…”

Deposing attorney: “Please, Mr. Ortega, this is a court proceeding and  no circus.”

TO: “When you live with four cats, like I do, anything is a circus. Please note that the other two cats in the litter box are not mine but those of the neighbors. They just come over to visit – OFTEN!”


Deposing attorney: “Mr. Ortega, please answer the question, who is We?”

TO (sweating, looking really uncomfortable): “Well, okay, I admit it, I am not working alone. Scott Pilutik is my webmaster.”

Deposing attorney: “Mr. Ortega, are you saying that Scott Pilutik is fat and does not fit into a stylish suit?”

TO (sweating even more, looking even more uncomfortable): “Gee, don’t want Scott Pilutik  suing me… So no, he is not fat and could squeeze quite nicely into Culkin’s suit.”

Deposing attorney: “Are we talking of the same Pilutik who conducted hate marches against Scientology with Nazi-friendly Arnaldo Lerma?”

TO (sweating a barrel of beer): “OMP*,  I shouldn’t have used name bunker for my blog, shouldn’t I? Should have gone with The Litterbox-Blog.” (*OMP is the opposite of OMG, means “Oh My Psychiatrist” as TO appears to be an atheist.)

Deposing attorney: “Please just answer the question, Mr. Ortega. Who is WE?”

TO: “Can we take a break? Need a beer and have cats to feed… They all need new flea collars. Please make a donation to my blog, will you?”

Judge: “Counsel, get this man and these cats out of here. Right now! Get all the cat hair from the documents! Immediately!”

This video is added to make this exhausting day in court easier for all. Cats are not the problem, German-oriented secret service case officers are!

So, come on judge, don’t be so pedantic. You know that the cats are not in the court room. They just roam the court-house hallways. According to federal court rules, Tony Ortega is not allowed to bring cats into the court room. And there is not enough room in his suit to smuggle them in. The buttons on his suit can fly off at any moment without anymore pound added to it. But there should be a law against carrying  WE, secret German-oriented psychiatric case officers along… 

Must be strange to have Ortega for a lover when he says: “Come to bed, honey, We are waiting for you.” Yikes!

I love you, Marty. Many kisses my darling. Glad that I will kiss only one man, the very awesome you, and not any “WE”.

Yours forever,





10 Responses

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  1. Haha!


    October 3, 2013 at 10:37 am

  2. Lulz, meowww!


    October 3, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    • Arson is probably planned by org haters for Scientology buildings that still belong to Scientology maybe even the SP building. They better watch their buildings.

      I don’t understand why they sold the building in the first place. Isn’t that exactly the kind of building that DM likes?

      Barbara Schwarz

      October 3, 2013 at 2:14 pm

  3. This posting freaked some of Tony’s comment posters out, Barbara. 😉

    Uncle Chester

    October 4, 2013 at 9:09 am

    • What a bunch of psych-defamation spreading idiots. How hard is it to recognize that this posting is a parody? Well, let them return back into the serious cat litter box where fun is a crime. They need a leader. I don’t.

      Barbara Schwarz

      October 4, 2013 at 10:13 am

  4. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button!


    October 11, 2013 at 6:35 am

  5. Leah should go home. Christina is the better dancer.

    The show tried to drum up some drama at the end by saying it came down to Elizabeth, Christina and Leah. You could tell everyone expected Leah to be sent packing, but — gasp! — Christina got the boot. There were scattered boos in response to the news.

    “Shock in the ballroom,” noted Brooke.

    Watcher watching

    October 14, 2013 at 11:49 pm

  6. Not just Tony Ortega and his followers, DM, the Pope has a foul mouth too.

    Instead the word that slipped out was “cazzo” — which means ” F***” or refers to the male genitalia (depending on interpretation).

    Greeny Beenie

    March 3, 2014 at 1:01 am

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